Life has been a bit rough lately, I have been really really sick actually. However, out of the fear that I will lose my job in this market, and with the amount of stress from everywhere, I didn’t want to take any leave.
I had covid couple weeks ago, and finally I turned negative last week, I was so excited, I went out for run the next day, but I think that run told me something. I was only able to run for 5 minutes and then my chest started to be in a lot of pain. After that run, my heart rate was high in 130-140 for a solid hour. Ever since that, I have been having trouble to lower my heart rate.
There are also some pressure to have the new accelerator center to be launched as soon as possible, on top of that there are cutover and go live going on for clients.
So many things going on, but not much energy, is it?
I am not sure how I did it when I was in my 20s, stayed up until 4am to do go live, and slept for 3 hours, then wake up and jump into other 5 projects at the same time. The more busy I was, the better I also performed. I loved that busy life, whenever I try to solve a problem, I dig really deep into things and understood every single perspective of it. Whenever I am not as busy, I will also have this panic, lol, I think I enjoy to be busy, busy on project drives me to think more and learn more, it brings me happiness.
OK I might have been working too much back then, but I liked it. I was learning, and I was learning a lot along the way.
For now though, I think the body is sending me a clear message — slow down, recover properly, and don’t rush back before I am ready. The projects will still be there. I will get back to full speed, just not today.